The reviewer confounded, a “poet” responds….
For the few happy stoners
who loved Strange Wilderness….
Three of them were back
to the multiplex
in early ‘08, night after night
(while their supply lasted)
bringing the only box office
before it closed after a week.
Late-night conversations,
fueled by caffeine,
conjured desires for a sequel.
Back to the woods…?
A family trapped…?
And plenty for a week, month…
Baddies, losers…who’ll kick their ass?
Not Bigfoot again.
A budding screenwriter there
began googling, then stopped
on one click, eyes bulging.
He let out a roar,
knowing he could make it
just as dumb.
His friends, cackling, tackled him,
in overgrown adolescent glee,
with no idea
what was coming.
Matthew Sorrento, named one of the crankiest critics by the LA Times in 2007, had the misfortune of reviewing both Strange Wilderness (for Film Threat) before confronting Cocaine Bear this week.